black hole

You're late.

Yes, I'm pretty annoyed about that.

What do you mean you're annoyed. I'm the one who's been sitting around waiting 20 minutes for you to turn up.

Yeah - it's galling.

So, are you going to apologise.

Well, obviously I'm upset about it. I'm always punctual, but unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it.

What are you talking about?

Well, I was about to leave home, the same as I always do, when I was completely sucked into a black hole.

A black hole? Sounds ridiculous.

Yeah. Sounds ridiculous I agree but that's all there is to it. The next thing I know I'm 20 minutes late and cursing myself.

But this is absurd. You can't seriously expect me to believe you were sucked into a black hole...

No - not in the slightest. I hardly believe it myself - but it's happened three times now. Something's going on with space and time at the moment, and it looks like I'm playing some role that necessitates my participation elsewhere in another dimension.

And you have no memory whatsoever of what happens out there?

Nope.

And there's no more rational explanation - like you fell asleep?

No - I never fall asleep like that. I can always control when I wake up.

So you've decided it's a black hole.

Well, it's something outside this reality, that's for certain - and it's like a black hole in the way it sucks me out.

What - bodily?

Yes - I set up a webcam that monitors my apartment and I was there on the bed, and the next moment I wasn't. Bizarre isn't it.

You're telling me. Perhaps you should consult a specialist... maybe a psychiatrist.

You think they're good at regulating disembodiment?

No, I don't suppose they are. Well, can you show me the raw footage where you disappear.

Sure. I'll mail it to you this evening.